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Ist nicht von mir !

 

Dear Ana
by: Ally Frohman

 

Dear Ana you destroyed me,
You came and forgot to ask.
Your rigidity took over me,
You succeeded at your task.

You hated everything inside me,
The outside even worse.
My weight was the biggest issue,
You set up your first curse.

Quickly you diminished me,
A frail girl I became.
No matter how thin you made me,
Eating led me to shame.

You not only put my health at risk,
And the life of my family too.
I never even imagined
The damage you could do.

You began to haunt me everywhere,
In the shower was the first place you hit.
You pulled my hair out one by one,
A fist full I could fit.

You made my eyes look empty,
My energy was no more.
They say I looked like a survivor,
Out of the concentration camps in the Second World War.

You took away my social life,
The coldness was too strong.
But every time I bathed you off,
You'd come back even colder; it didn't take you long.

The worst was during ketosis,
You made my breath smell horrid.
But mints had XX calories,
You knew I wouldn't go for it.

You began to make me wonder,
Were you really worth this pain?
It was either you or my existence,
Your skinny body is obviously not my frame.

You didn't agree with my decision,
But I said Fuck you this isn't me.
Your self-esteem is killing us,
This isn't who I want to be.

The models in the magazines,
The friends you wish to be.
No matter how tall and skinny they are,
They will never come close to being me.

It took me a while to accept,
That it will take long for you to depart.
But promise you will be nice to me,
And not show up on any of my charts.

You didn't do well in therapy,
Those people are a tad bit crazy.
But they care for you and me, they do!
My courage did amaze me.

So for now you must accept me.
Alexandra Bette Frohman is my name.
I am not a fan of being ill,
Anorexia is not my game.

Dear Ana this will never end,
But this letter has to somewhere.
I just wanted to tell you I hate you,
And what you did to me is not at all fair.

Love, Ali.

 

 




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